5/3/2011 5:53:12 AM
First let me say this, I believe that
what's going on inside of your head is far more important than what's going on
on top of your head. With that in mind, I'm aware of the painful history that has
shaped the relationship between black women and their hair; I've lived it.
As a young girl growing up, I was praised for having a lot of hair when it was in
its natural state but I also felt the pressure to undergo the "rite of passage"
by straightening my hair as I entered the social and professional arena. It's a
common belief that black women seeking love or a career must straighten their
hair in order to achieve success.
For years, I bought into that belief even though I questioned it early on. As a young
girl I remember sitting in my church looking at the backs of heads that packed the
pews and marvelling at all the straightened tresses that confronted me when it
suddenly struck me as strange that not a single head over the age of ten sported
a natural hairstyle. Why?
A sight that I'd accepted for years as normal suddenly seemed alien to me but it
was a brief fleeting thought and I settled into the common practice of straightening
my hair without question or resistance. It wasn't until years later, when I had my
daughter and fell in love with her beautiful natural hair and feared using the harsh
invasive straightening methods necessary to straighten her hair that I seriously
questioned my hair choices.
I decided I would resist the common practice, forego the "rite of passage" and keep
my daughter's hair natural and teach her to love and care for her hair in its natural
state and then when she reached high school age, give her the choice of whether
or not to straighten. Well, my daughter chose to remain natural and she is the
inspiration for the Asleep trilogy. I wanted her to have a natural haired character that
reflected her; a smart, strong, beautiful girl. It's bonus that other young natural
girls are finding this character inspirational as well. Like Theresa, whose post from
last month's blog, The 'P' Word, revealed she was newly natural. Theresa's post
inspired this month's blog topic, The Hairy Truth.
It is my wish that regardless of the hairstyle you choose to rock that you love yourself,
are confident in your self-worth, and aware of your true value. Because if this is true, you
will see past hair and see the true beauty within each individual. And then the practice of
mocking and condemning each other just because of a hairstyle choice (whether it's
permed, natural, flat ironed, shaved, or weaved) will cease.
It's time to stop subjecting black women to such intense scrutiny, critique, and even
condemnation for what grows naturally out of their heads. It's time to remove the social
and professional stigmas based on a hairstyle. It's only hair. And that's the hairy truth!
Click ClumsyCurlZ to get tips on natural hair care from this natural hair guru. ClumsyCurlZ
is a character from book 3, Ascend, who gives natural hair care tips to the main character,
Adisa. YouTube also has videos on how to properly care for any hairstyle you choose
(locs, perm, weaves, Brazilian blowout, etc.) just search for the style you're interested in.
Have a happy hair day!
[This is the scene from Ascend in which Adisa first discovers ClumsyCurlZ.
Adisa's older twin sisters are confronting her on not taking proper care
of her natural hair. This is a safe read, NO major spoilers.]
We laughed as we looked at each other and I saw the changes in my sisters
now that they stood side by side. They were identical twins but I'd always
been able to tell them apart even though everybody else said they looked
exactly alike. The years had emphasized their physical differences,
making them visibly dissimilar.
They were still the same height but Kelly was heavier and her fuller face gave
her a soft quality that was absent in the angular features of her youth. Kylie's
angular features had actually become more gaunt which placed extra emphasis
on their differences. They were both still equally stunning but in different ways.
"You two look so different from each other now," I exclaimed. "What about me?
What's the biggest difference about me?"
"Your hair!" they chimed in unison and that's all it took for them to start in on me.
Adisa, really? That's how you're representing natural hair?
Baby, you need to tame your mane.
Natural hair does NOT equal unkempt hair.
I've seen women rocking some incredible natural styles.
Is that the best you can do?
When was the last time you ran a comb through all that?
Your hair is seriously busted; you need a hair hotline... a hair intervention...
There's a natural hair community online that she can connect to.
That's right! Every time I turn around there's another natural head
popping up or somebody is transitioning.
"What's transitioning?" I managed to squeeze in between their chatter.
They put me on the Internet, surfing natural hair care which led me to YouTube.
People actually posted video recordings of themselves demonstrating how to care
for and style natural hair.
I found a vlogger called ClumsyCurlZ whose hair looked similar to mine and who
actually had a series of basic natural hair care videos which simplified everything
I needed to know. She revealed the secret to quick beautiful natural hair care and
it was so easy I couldn't believe the solution had been staring me in the face the
CLICK HERE TO POST COMMENTS TO MY EMAIL
2/3/2012 6:12:11 PM
Name: EasemeSlece Subject: Great Post, Thanks
A good site. I'm offtopic, where you can buy a good telescope?
I've never purchased a telescope so I can't help you.
Try Googling it then search for reviews. I hope it works
out well for you. ~ WRM
5/31/2011 11:46:59 PM
Name: Teresa Subject: Ascend
I know this has nothing to do with this post but um I was wondering if you were done writing Ascend yet because I'm completely addicted to your books!!!!
No; I'm sorry. Ascend isn't quite done yet.
I'm hoping to release by the end of this year
or definitely sometime in 2012. ~ WRM
5/13/2011 8:23:45 AM
Name: Yulwei Subject: Ascend
I reckon this is a pretty good guestimation of what may occur in Ascend. Both your previous books have CLICK to view this post and the response. Moved due to potential spoilers.
5/9/2011 4:37:37 PM
Name: Yulwei Subject: Ascend
Like your writing you tell enough to hold my interest and even answer a few question whilst causing a thousand other questions to sprout.
It's a gift... and a curse. ~ WRM
5/7/2011 5:38:56 PM
Name: Yulwei Subject: Ascend
I gave the first 2 parts of the Asleep trilogy a reread and they were as gripping as the first time round. They did spark a couple of questions in me:
~ Are you planning on dealing with Liz's mother
Yes, serious drama around her. ~ WRM
~ what's up with Beverley
More will be revealed about Beverly in Ascend. ~ WRM
~ Is Micah in love with Adisa or is he merely bonded to her albeit intensely (ala Cyrus and his bond with Pearl)
This will be addressed in Ascend. ~ WRM
~ Seeing as she pretty much dropped out of school and can't really be expected to catch up to a 4 year backlog are her dreams of being a teacher dead as a Dodo, in the earthbound world at least
This will also be addressed in Ascend. ~ WRM
Yulwei, your questions were so insightful that I could
only answer the 1st one and I couldn't go in depth due
to spoilers. I have incredible readers. You guys keep
me on my toes. Thanks! ~ WRM
5/4/2011 7:07:33 PM
Name: Yulwei Subject: Unfair to hair
As a guy I can't really relate since the only choice I make with my hair is whether it needs a trim or not. I do find natural hair a lot more attractive than straight hair but that might just be a case of it being rare and thus exotic, even though it shouldn't be. I've tried to get my family members to go natural but they don't know how to maintain natural hair , they're used to having it relaxed, weaved or covered by a wig and most importantly [for them] they think straight hair is more attractive.
I find it hard to argue since there aren't exactly a whole lot of women rocking the natural look nor a lot of guys who prefer it. Keep doing what you're doing the message will spread and we'll one day see a change
Yulwei, thanks for giving a male perspective and it's
always nice to find a natural hair champion. The natural
hair numbers are growing and not just here in the USA
but overseas as well. Natural hair is fun, creative, cute,
beautiful and can be styled to fit a romantic date,
professional career, casual affair or high fashion.
For a variety of beautiful natural hair styles Click Here. ~ WRM
5/3/2011 11:52:33 PM
Name: Alexis Subject: It really is the hairy truth!!
I must say that you are so right about how girls feel like they have to have straight hair in order to do things in life, and I must say that I am one of them. I am one of those girls that always is flat ironing her hair every morning before i start my day (well when my hair is not in twists) or making sure that i have an relaxer in my hair every 4 weeks. Now i don't have a problem with my hair or the way I look but I must say that I total understood what you were saying in this post. I am even proud to say that, I have been thinking about going natural even though i don't know a dang thing about it, but I am getting older and I want to change the way people see me, and the way I see myself. Now I'm not saying that I am going to do it right this minute, because like you said all it matters is that you love and believe in yourself, but it is something to really think about for myself. Thanks for the link for ClumsyCurlZ..that is really helping my decision along, and once again, thanks for a little taste of whats in the 3rd book. Already looking forward to June's blog!.
Alexis, are you implying that you want another excerpt
in June? O.K., I'll do my best to make it happen.
I suggest you research natural hair on the Internet
because there's a ton of information that reveal the
challenges and rewards you could face. YouTube
is great because you get visual step by step demos and
images of the final results. Also, there are natural hair
events in which newly naturals, long time naturals, and
professionals come together to share information, prizes,
makeovers, and fun. Just this weekend here in Atlanta there
were 3 major natural hair events; The Monroe Sisters Meet-Up,
The Natural Hair Show, and Curly Girls Rock.
You can attend these events, even if you're not natural,
to mingle with and learn more about naturals. There are
also meet-up groups like Atlanta Naturally Fierce and
Gorgeous Atlanta Naturals that meet regularly. For those
not in the Atlanta area, there are natural events and
organizations near you; just search the web. Whatever
you decide, Alexis, should make you happy and confident. ~ WRM